JOURNALING CHALLENGE: DAY 4

the-challenge

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  1. An Understanding Client:   I had that conversation with my client and he was very understanding.   It turned out well.  He’s actually been preoccupied with this completely other thing, and so wasn’t feeling the same tension I was.  We worked it out, even though some things are still in limbo.  I’m grateful for a chance to continue to develop our professional relationship
  2. My Best Friend:   I saw my best friend last night.  He’s going through a rough patch, but he’s putting it back together.  I see good things for him in the future as he’s gotten away from his very toxic soon to be ex-wife.  It was great just to reconnect.
  3. Food!:  Food.  I got paid, so I got food.  Woo! I’m not broke or anything, so I could’ve bought food at anytime, but there was some kind of mental block that was waiting to get paid before I could go to the grocery store. Little things I guess.

 

Three Things That Would Make Today Great

  1. The Sun:  Enough sun to edge my yard.  It’s been raining a lot, so some sun that dries things out enough to do basic edging would be great.
  2. A Good Meeting With the Old Developer:  I have to have a meeting with my client and another developer that worked with him on a previous project.  It will be very helpful if it goes well and the developer is accommodating.
  3. Firm Up Where I Stand With My Client:  Even though things took a great turn yesterday, it would still be better to make sure our professional relationship was progressing well, as there is a lot of work coming down the pipe like a tidal wave.

 

How Well Did You Sleep Last Night

  • Oi.  My sleep schedule is really messed up.  I’m going to try hard to get it under control by Monday.  I expect to fully be whacked out tomorrow Sunday night.

 

What Is One Thing You Want To Accomplish Today

  • I want to have a positive meeting with the developer and lay out a positive path forward for our project.

 

What Is On your Mind Right Now?

  • I miss my father.  We haven’t been getting along for a little while now, as he’s been dealing with some serious issues.  There’s not a whole lot I can do as he’s isolating himself.  He’s stubborn and can hold out indefinitely and that worries me.  I hope we can get past it together.

 

3 to 5 things Making You Most Uncomfortable

  1. My Sleep Schedule.

    My sleep schedule is getting dangerously absurd. I’ve had lifelong sleep problems, but they’ve been relatively manageable.  But recently, I’ve been living like a meth addict with how little I’ve been sleeping.  I’m not sure how to fix it as all my life I’ve tried different methods to little avail.

    • If this were to get under control today and was the only thing I accomplished it would greatly make things better in the near future as I imagine I could focus better, but it wouldn’t do the other vital work I need to do.
    • Moving this forward is just about absolutely necessary for me to continue to function. I worry of what will happen if I keep on this slide.
  2. I’m still doubting my tech abilities.

    This is more about the upcoming massive work that will be undertaken soon.  I’ve got very serious people looking to import my work that could make my reputation for years to come in an industry I’m relatively new to.  I’m so new that  a lot of things still confuse me. I learn very fast and I know the basics of everything.  From all of my other developer friends, they say that feeling only goes away but so much. The life of certain developers is one one of constant learning on the job and hoping nobody else notices.

    • If this was the only thing I addressed today, not much would change.  I actually do a lot of learning every day to raise my skills.  I’ve targeted massive amounts of learning resources for the components I will need.  And since I’ve already engaged in all of that, and I’m feeling like this, there’s no reason to assume doing it more will somehow make me not feel like this.
    • Moving this forward would involve improving my skills, and maybe completing some of the harder parts of the new project so I can get them off of my plate.
  3. Gotta cut that grass gotta cut that grass!

    If it doesn’t rain, this will be handled today.

    • If this was the only thing dealt with today, my yard would look prettier and it would be one less thing I had to deal with the next day.
    • Moving this forward would only improve my yard and that’s pretty much it.
  4. Paranoia:  

    I’ve written about this here or elsewhere, but as I get a little bit older, I’m starting to get the feeling of paranoia creeping in.  Not like I’m paranoid at delusional things or even at things or events at all.   It’s more the sensation of being paranoid and a general anxiety that provokes.  Kind of like a paranoia that has no concurrent thought process with it, though I can imagine general bad things happening to me at any moment.  It’s not really that bad or constant, but it does happen and with more frequency recently. I worry that will get worse.

    • If this was the only thing I dealt with today, not much would be different. In fact, as it’s so non-descript, it seems like a waste of time to deal with at all.
    • Moving this issue forward would seem like medication needed to be involved.

 

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