Journaling Challenge: Day 3

the-challenge

Three Things I’m Grateful For:

  1. One more day:  It’s hard to explain but I’m grateful for having one more day where I’m not in some underground prison cell or in some hospital gasping for air or homeless on the streets of some icy cold city.
  2. Gas In My Car:   I used to drive hardly at all to get to work, but since changing things up, I have to drive quite a ways now.  Gas in the car is a small thing, but it’s something I don’t have to worry about doing in the morning now.
  3. A little  more time with the cat:  One of our cats was on death’s door yesterday, but the vet was able to turn things around. The cat is old and not long for this world, but we got a little more time and that’s something.

 

Three Things That Would Make Today Great

  1. Getting Paid for the Project I’m Working On:  Still haven’t gotten paid. Grrrrrowl! RAAAAAAWR!
  2. Having the Guy I’m Working With Show Some Understanding On the Limitations of Our Project:  Got so busy I didn’t get to have that conversation again for the last couple of days. I really need to have it.  This is still up in the air too.  To me, this is almost as big as not getting paid.
  3. Wipe out the list:  Getting everything checked off my list at the right time.  I’ve had to sideline things a bit every day as certain things come up. Anyhow, now’s the time to get everything done without interruption.

 

How Well Did You Sleep Last Night

  • So so.  I could have done better. I  think I got about 3 hours. I’m used to functioning well on only 4 or so hours.  I can’t control it and it’s been an issue all of my life.  Hopefully it won’t take too much of a toll on me today.

 

What Is One Thing You Want To Accomplish Today

  • I want to get everything done on one part of my project.   I’m not sure if that’s possible. Fingers crossed.

 

What Is On your Mind Right Now?

  • Not getting paid is the biggest.  I’m also thinking I’m about to have to split with this client.  He’s just too ambitious for what he’s paying, and his timeline’s are insane.  This is made much worse by the fact some of it is official city work, which raises the stakes for my reputation. I’d prefer not to put it on the line at this point.

 

3 to 5 things Making You Most Uncomfortable

  1. The discussion with the business owner.

    Today is the come to Jesus meeting with one of my clients.  Money, timelines, tech and realistic expectations are all on the table.   On top of that, I think I might want to bow out anyway.  Something will be decided today one way or another.

    • This will almost certainly be handled today. I’m not sure if I’ll like the outcome, but it will certainly change everything either really positively or really negatively.  Fingers crossed.
    • Moving this forward will change everything one way or another. It’s that big right now.
  2. I’m doubting my tech abilities.

    I went to a gathering of techies last night, and everyone was so well versed.  I felt ridiculous when I talked to this one guy that was so knowledgeable about everything.  It felt like I had no business being in the room, much less the field.  I have so much education in a different field that being that much of a noob is a strange feeling I haven’t had in a long time.  They say everyone new to the field feels what’s called “impostor syndrome” when they start, where you feel like a fraud that is about to be found out.  I hope that’s all I’m feeling, but I also think sometimes that’s gotta be accurate.  I know the project I’m working on often feels way over my head.  But then I wade through it and it feels more manageable.

    • If this was the only thing I accomplished today (meaning I completed part of the major piece of the project when the deadline is coming due), it would be a great and satisfying day.  I doubt that will happen seriously, and after the come to Jesus meeting, it may be moot anyway.
    • Moving this forward would involve improving my skills, but also actually finishing a major part of the project today to put to bed that I can at least do part of it.
  3. I’ve got to pay that bill today.  I’m confident it will be done.

    This will be handled today.

    • If this was the only thing dealt with today, it would be great in that one area, but I feel the other problems would still be looming and so are a bit more important.
    • Moving this forward would only improve this one thing.
  4. I’ve been so run down lately with more problems than usual:  

    Usually I don’t sweat problems, because you work through them and they get better or at least they fade away. But certain problems have given way to other problems recently and it’s weighing on me more than usual.

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